Saturday, 6 August, 2011

PoolParty1-BeachBedWalking past the brand new BMW’s, Maserati’s and a couple of yummy mummy’s in the car park, I knew I’d arrived at the FD “Animals Gone Wild” Annual Pool Party Extravaganza at the Royal Hong Kong Yacht Club. That, and the three tough looking FD door biatch*es, Jo, Stefanie and Tom Ho , waiting at the entrance were tell-tale signs I was at the right place and set for big night out, FD style.

PoolParty2-clubSo into the pool area I stepped and was immediately greeted by the attentive Yacht Club staff wanting to provide me a refreshing and icy cold beer. This reception protocol soon degenerated from one of elegance and hospitality to plain old speed-and-efficiency as more FD party-animals arrived and were just grabbed, lifted and thrown (not necessarily in that order) into the pool upon arrival, kit and caboodle…

With the DJ (somebody’s iPhone – yes, we’re cheap) pumping out some classic tracks in the background, the party soon got into gear and the pool quickly filled with guests.

The scene was one of happiness and mayhem at the same time – scantily clad females shuffling (no running in the pool area please) around the tables, closely followed by even more-scantily clad males chasing after them, others refining their “bombing” techniques by the side of the pool and the more civilized amongst us at the tables chatting and taking advantage of the “*” footnote on the entry ticket which indicated “all you can drink”. As the FD Committee breathed a collective sigh of relief as we hit the break-even point on the P&L and with the cash counted and safely tucked into Mark’s bright pink g-string, the buffet counter opened. aahhh buffet – what a marvelous concept…and what a sumptuous feast that was prepared by our venue hosts. The only possible thing that could bring the party down from this point onwards would be something like the Jaws scene in Caddy Shack (click here)…which was still a risk at this point, given main course was only just being served.

PoolParty3-PiggyBackFightFollowing dinner, in typical FD style, the party was cranked up a notch with the introduction of the games segment of the evening, including the traditional all-in FD water rugby and piggy-back fighting competitions, inflatable caveman clubs, palm trees and waterguns. As expected, this was conducted without incident – my [email protected]@ without incident!!! Thankfully our in-house resident FD physio, Sylvia, was on standby applying treatment to over compressed necks and minor dislocations. In addition, FD had its very own wardrobe malfunction, ala Janet Jackson / JT – scandalous and I can’t believe I missed it!!!
Anyhows, as with any great party, there was an even better after-party, which saw a switch in venues from a place where we felt underdressed (Yacht Club), to a place we felt overdressed (Wan Chai). Arriving en masse at the bar, Maya, it didn’t take long for things to get completely out-of-hand with table-top dancing (fully clothed) and the entire men’s team (half-clothed – topless), largely attributable to a deadly concoction, The Gas Chamber, introduced by newbie club member, Chris “The Komodo Dragon”.

As the once, late and great Julius Caesar once rapped:

Veni, vidi, vici

We came, we saw, we conquered

Or, as we say in Hong Kong:

Nevi, Divi, Ci Ci – Never, ever, again…

….until next time, that is…!

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